Resistance holds the keys to your liberation
Often it's what you resist most that holds the keys to your liberation. . So recently I began a 365 day real challenge - doing a real every day on Instagram, for the next 365 days. When I first felt into this challenge and was deciding whether I was going to commit to it or not, there was this excitement, like this desire to jump in and really prove to myself that I could do this, and then there was this other part that was like, you can't do that, that... 365 days… It's a huge commitment, and there's this fear of failure, fear of not following through.
What would that mean about me if I didn't follow through?
Who would see me fail, if I missed a day?
And all these different stories and old patterns and inner self talk began arising… this is stuff that's played out for years and years and years and in the past has prevented me from taking that step and doing something that holds so much potential, possibility, excitement and desire..
What's possible by really putting myself out there?
And so in the past I've listened to that voice that's... “Don't do that.. it's not gonna work.. You're not gonna be able to stick to it.”
And it's this voice that comes from the part of me that only wants to protect me, and over the years I've learned to have more and more compassion and love for that part of myself that only wants to protect me.
Because.. how beautiful to have a part of you that wants to do that because you are so, so precious. We all are..
And so as I started to feel into this and I was going back and forth and I was like, nah, you know what? I am gonna do this. I'm gonna jump in and really step into this desire, step into what's possible rather than not doing it and wondering what if..
And then feeling that kind of underlying lingering regret in my body, and buying into those stories of what it means by me not doing it.
So I listened to the excitement and I decided to jump in and as soon as I put it out there and I declared it publicly that I was going to be doing this, it brought up more anxiety, uncertainty, nervousness and fear..
But there was also this other side of HOLY SHIT I’m doing this.. deep incredible excitement and desire bubbling within.
And it’s really okay to experience both of these energies simultaneously.. I’ve learned that anxiety isn’t a bad thing, it’s a messenger and I have been able to cultivate gratitude for the experience of anxiety, for her sacred message.. At the end of the day this is a whole new thing, I’m stepping outta my comfort zone.. I’ve never had made a reel before, didn't even really know what it was, and just decided to jump in and learn as I go. Of course there’s gonna be anxiety, nervousness, uncertainty but that’s what creates the excitement, the thrill..
Stepping into the unknown is never easy but that’s part of what makes it so fucking worth it..
It’s been an interesting journey so far..
Day one, I just kind of jumped in, just tried something, shared a little piece of content, and then I noticed that the second day I was putting it off and procrastinating, and it got really close to the end of the day and I was like, shit I've gotta make a reel like NOW!
And so I jumped in and got it done and it feels so good once you actually move past that procrastination and just do it..
Procrastination is a funny one..
We put it off and put it off and push away and then as soon as we do it, it's like this liberating feeling and that's what I experienced and once I moved past it and jumped in, I had a lot of fun with making the reel.
I felt really excited. I felt really proud, really happy, patting myself on the back and showing Liam my videos and then I believe it was day three where again, I was putting it off until the last minute.
I was like, I'll get to it, I'll get to it, I'll get to it.
But I had all these other things roaming around my mind, and I went to sleep and I completely forgot to do the reel.
I woke up in the morning and was like, oh no, I missed day three!!! 😱
And this was actually a really pivotal point for me because in the past this would've validated the stories that I had prior to the commitment of, “you're not gonna follow through”, “you're not gonna be able to do this, why bother?” , and it's a way of protecting from that fear of what will others think?
How will I be perceived? How will I be judged? Am I good enough? What will people say?
All these kinds of fears that run deep for a lot of us from a very young age were coming up and I was like, oh, this is really interest, and if you've listened too much of my work before, I talk about getting really curious about what comes up rather than judging it, wronging, shaming it, get really curious and have compassion as you navigate this exploration.
And so I got really curious about that and I was like, well, I could give up now and I could validate the stories that I wasn't gonna be able to follow through with this or jump in and just get the next reel done and keep going.
So I jumped in and I experienced a massive shift.
I started to prioritize my reels and so I was getting 'em done first thing in the morning. I was really pumped to get it done. It was like, no, I'm doing this and I had a massive shift of energy and mindset around it. It's like I met my deepest fear in this particular scenario, which was that I'm not gonna be able to follow through. I'm gonna fail…
And what I did was actually rewrite that cycle, that pattern for myself, and I showed myself that, you know what? I actually met my fear. I missed a day. It wasn't intentional, but it happened. And it's like, oh, I didn't die. I'm still here. I'm all good. Let me just pick myself back up and keep going.
And because I did that, it was like I was meeting those edges, the layers of resistance and the fear head on. I experienced what I was afraid of and I'm still here. Actually proving to the part of us that feels like, oh my gosh, if I fail, I'm not gonna survive it, it's gonna be all consuming, and the emotions and the stories will just swallow me up. It actually reveals to myself that actually this isn't a life-threatening situation, and I do have the capacity to keep taking that next step and to pick myself up when I fall down and to know that I've got this and I've got me, and it's okay to stumble and fall and get back up.
It was truly an incredible experience, there was this massive shift in me where I actually had a lot less of the resistance moving forward. I was getting up and it was like one of my first thoughts of like, yep, let's get this done.
I started having all this creative flow of all these different ideas and inspirations and motivation was just like unlocked.
And so my message here is that when you are trying something new, when you're on your healing journey, when you're going through another layer of your healing journey, when you are getting out of the comfort zone, ending different cycles and patterns that are no longer serving you, whatever part of your journey you are on there are going to be layers of resistance and parts of your mind that tell you not to do something that you know is right for you or feels aligned for you.
Acknowledge that the mind is there trying to protect you from future pain… And know that those layers of resistance, those are your edges.
When you are moving through a layer of your journey, there is an edge and you've gotta meet that edge in order to go into the next layer, into the next layer.
You can't skip that process.
Meeting the resistance is part of the process, and the thing is, the closer you get to that edge, the stronger the resistance gets, the stronger the inner conflict and the monkey mind or the ego will try to tell you.. No, don't get any closer, it's not safe. It's trying to protect you by telling you to stay where you've always known.
There is this fear of the unknown, the fear of I don't know what's on the other side. I don't know what's in that next layer. Do I really have the capacity and the ability to feel or move through what's in that next layer.
And so it's only trying to protect you, but in doing so, it's actually holding you back from going into the next level, stepping into your greatest potential, seeing what's possible, exploring, healing, integrating, and stepping into the best version of yourself.
And it's only because that this part holds so much fear of the unknown often due to childhood trauma, wounds or different experiences that are unresolved, and it's really up to us to make that decision to continue taking the next step to feel into, is this the next step for me? Does this feel aligned for me?
Yes, I might be afraid, yes, there might be something telling me, no, don't do that. But when I feel into my heart, into my intuition, into my gut, into my desire. Is there actually something there that's saying actually, yeah, this is terrifying, but I need to do this. This is my next step. I need to see where this path goes.
I need to see how this will unfold to see if it is the right path for me?
Because how else do we know if we don't give it a try?
And know you can always make a new decision if it turns out the path you took no longer aligns. And you'll find that that taking that first path is what leads you to another path, that leads you to another path and it was all completely divine.
We learned something every step of the way, and it's often by, let me just take this path and see where it goes for me. That will lead you to the next path that is aligned for you. So it's always about tuning. and feeling into, is this my next step? And if there are fears, if there's something saying, don't do it, don't do it. But you know, deeper than that, actually, this is what I've gotta do…
I invite you to trust that voice that's like, yeah, I know this is the next step for me.
And there's gonna be times where you do need to reach out and get support to help you move through those layers of resistance. Because sometimes those resistances are so deep, so intense, so overwhelming that we don't know how to move through on our own, and we need someone else that's able to hold space for us.
And so also tuning into that knowing that you don't have to do the journey alone.
If you are finding it really challenging to move through those layers of resistance, reach out to someone that you feel you resonate with that can support you on that journey.
So to sum up my message for you
Meet your edges. Meet that resistance with love, with compassion, with openness, with curiosity, with kindness, with love and see where that takes you. Lean into the resistance.
Allow yourself to feel it. Often, we get frustrated by the resistance, frustrated by the procrastination. We get really judgmental and beat ourselves up and get annoyed at ourselves, and it only strengthens the resistance. But if we could actually just sit with our resistance, lean in, feel it, be with it, you'll find that it starts to dissolve.
As you start to move through those layers, you'll really experience that deep liberation. On the other side of that, just like I shared with my reel experience, I was sitting with those layers of resistance for the first few days of the challenge. And then as I leaned into that and felt the fears, I realized they weren't true. And I took that next step and I experienced really deep liberation.
Meeting your resistance and leaning in, practicing surrender leads to deep liberation of stagnant energy, bringing forth creativity, joy, aliveness, inspiration, connection and so much goodness. It may bring more layers of resistance leading to even more liberation and goodness.