Feeling Supported In Your Relationship, Getting Your Needs Met, Heal the Wounds of the Feminine & Masculine
I’m feeling called to share something incredibly vulnerable with you and I want you to notice what comes up for you with compassion, love and tenderness as much as possible…
I had this experience where we are driving home from Chch and something comes over me… pain.
Physical Pain
I try to conceal myself on one hand hoping Liam won’t notice and on the other desperately needing him too
But to my interpretation he does not.
Not for a very long time and when he finally does, the words he says hurt even more…
I think of all the ways he should show up
For me and the fact that he doesn’t means we’re not meant to be
The resentment builds.
And when we get home he “fails” again.
I’m furious and I’m hurt.
Then a thought pops into my mind… or a question rather…
How do I show up and respond to him when he’s unwell…
This is the part that hurts.
I respond by feeling frustrated and annoyed and NOT wanting to help him.
As I sat with this I thought “why? What comes up for me when he’s sick, what gets triggered???
It triggers the story and the hurt that states you don’t do enough around here as it is and now your sick???!!! How dare you, now not only will you continue to not support me but you have taken away my right to complain and demand of you…
😳
Yuck.
.
.
.
Now I could judge and shame myself here or I could go within and get curious about where this all stems from and DO the work to integrate the wounds and make the choice to voice my experience, my needs, ask him what he needs and make the commitment together to celebrate partnership.
I have often said that when I feel my absolute worst I receive the MOST profound wisdom, insight, and messages that completely changes my life and my relationship
In these times I allow myself to feel my pain, move through it, allow my body to respond and express.
In this particular experience, for almost the entire road trip from Christchurch to Blenheim (about 4 hours) I writhed in pain
I cried.
I tensed in agony.
My head was pounding.
Trigger points in my breast and upper back… I wondered if this was an infection from a blocked milk duct but I knew there was something much deeper.
I experienced full body tremors (this was one of the key symptoms that told me something much deeper was at play, if you’ve experienced breathwork you may know exactly what I’m talking about)
I allowed it all and I surrendered as much as I could to the process.
That’s when it happened.
I found my ability to meet myself with love, compassion and presence and to get CURIOUS!
What is this revealing to me?
As soon as we arrived home I felt overwhelmingly dizzy and in an altered state of consciousness (another sign)
I tended to my baby and then noticed how serene and open I felt even though I was still experiencing pain
And I received this message that I am sharing with you here in this post.
I choose to show up here and be vulnerable with deep trust that it will reach those who most need it.
There is nothing wrong with you.
Your responses are intelligent, they’re often just misunderstand and you can get stuck in either blaming someone else, blaming yourself, playing the victim, and getting stuck in a story that keeps you separate.
Separate from yourself.
Separate from those you love.
Separate from God.
And this is a pain I wish on no one.
Separation is one of the most excruciating experiences to be stuck in for a moment let alone years and decades.
Take care of yourself beautiful one.
In the end I asked myself “what if the way he responds is what he desires when he’s unwell?? To be left in peace…”
I wouldn’t know because I never bothered to ask him the question that I desperately wanted him to ask me in this situation…
“What do you need?”
What’s truly fascinating is that unintentionally but very DIVINELY this is the main theme of my Deeply Connected Couples Program 😳😍
For when we learn how to meet each others needs and support one another to get our needs met, we will naturally experience deeper connection.
If you are ready to heal the wounds of the feminine and masculine, to come together in unity and CELEBRATE partnership comment “I AM READY” below
If you need support with this send me a DM and let’s chat xxx
My upcoming Masterclass, BECOMING, will also be incredibly supportive for you…
https://embody.moniquecarmela.com/becoming-masterclass
