Don’t Assume Someone Is Okay, Postpartum Depression, Self-Care, Community

After my first birth, I dropped the baby weight very quickly and people would comment on how good I looked postpartum, in fact they were amazed.

But I felt absolutely horrible inside.

People saw my physical slimness as “looking good” or even great and we’re amazed.

I have always told myself I have high metabolism and never worried about weight gain, I have always believed it didn’t matter what I ate or drank or how much exercise I did, my body would always be slim because I had high metabolism.

The power of belief is incredibly strong.

I was also amazed at how my body bounced back so quickly after birth

But what people didn’t notice was how I felt inside… I felt like a zombie and I felt incredibly low

I didn’t know it at the time but I believe I was struggling with postpartum depression due to the birth trauma I experienced, as well as being far from home and my family

I felt confused, alone, anxious, uncertain, afraid, overwhelmed, unsupported, and like I had already failed as a mother because I “failed” at birthing my son naturally due to high levels of fear, stress and a doctor I felt incredibly violated and disrespected by.

But no one saw the pain I was suffering.
And there was no one there to help me.

I didn’t know how to ask for help.
I didn’t know what was going on.

On an instinctual, primal level, there was a deep wondering “what is wrong with my tribe, where the f*** is my tribe”…

Of course I wasn’t aware of this wondering at the time either.

I was lost in the depression and dove into work and travel unknowingly as a distraction to survive my experience.

I’m now 8 weeks postpartum from the birth of my baby girl and what a DRASTICALLY different experience this has been.

Once again my body has bounced back with ease, no stretch marks, back to my usual figure that I know, love and appreciate.

And once again… the power of belief is strong, I believed my body would bounce back just as it had done before.

But this time the comments are yes “you look great!” But more often I am receiving comments like “you’re glowing” and again people are amazed.

I felt like I was glowing.
I felt the happiness inside of me.
The connection with my new baby.
The healing from my first birth.
The connection with myself and my family.
The excitement of the journey I’m on.
The superwoman sensation of holy cow I actually pushed a baby out of my yoni!!! Wild!!!

It’s been an amazing experience and it’s also had its challenges… those postpartum and life contractions/waves.

And it’s beautiful.

I want you to know that it doesn’t matter how long it takes to “bounce back” after birth, that we’re all unique and we all flow differently.

If your body, if your yoni looks different post birth, can you appreciate all that your body has been through and have compassion and LOVE your body no matter how it looks physically.

Your body is amazing. Do you realise it just grew an entire human and birthed that human????!!!!

You’re amazing. Your body is amazing.

Don’t assume that just because someone loses the baby weight quickly that they are fine, they’re great, that they did something that you should have done or should be doing.

Dont get caught up in comparison.

Honour your unique journey and your unique, intelligent, incredible body.

And notice what is going on inside of you… your thoughts, emotions, sensations… what is your body telling you?

What do you need? What does your body need? And how can you connect with your tribe to feel supported on your journey?

Tribe is essential.
Your people are out there. Find them. Appreciate them. Love them.

And love yourself.
You are worthy and deserving of all the love and more just because you are you ❤️

P.S. it actually takes around 2 years postpartum for you to be back to “normal” where your hormones have rebalanced. Often we feel expected and pressured to be back go “normal” 6-12 weeks post partum which is simply not the case.

Photo taken 2 days ago. 8 weeks postpartum.