Are you ready to feel the pleasure that is available to you now?
Many of us have trouble feeling pleasure.. feeling good.. When's the last time you felt ecstatic?
When is the last time you felt really, really good?
I'm not talking about the regular good day or when you've had a good chat, or the yeah I feel good now or I had a good day...
I'm talking ECSTASY, DEEP PLEASURE, THOSE SENSATIONAL VIBES RIPPLING THROUGHOUT YOUR BODY!
Really check-in with yourself here.. Close your eyes.. Take a few deep breaths, expanding your belly.. And ask yourself how do I feel in my body right now? And allow space. Space to feel what arises. Take as long as you need here, at least a few minutes or so.
Next ask yourself.. When was the last time I felt Pleasure? Amazing? On top of the world? Joyful? Bliss? When I felt my smile extend from ear to ear? And again allow the space to see, to feel what arises..
Chances are it's been awhile.. or perhaps never.. NEVER?! We are here on this earth plane as a Human BEING! To experience, to explore, to feel, to express ALL HUMAN EMOTION!
For far too long we have been repressed, told to be quiet, to withhold our anger, frustration, joy, pleasure from a place of shame and guilt. When you're young and you start putting anything and everything in your mouth from a place of feeling pleasure you're told "DONT DO THAT! THAT'S YUCKY! THAT'S DIRTY!" and so on. Of course a lot of the time this is from a place of concern, care, and love, your parents were doing their best to protect you but that hasn't quite been the outcome. This shut down your pleasure, your joy. It made you feel that pleasure and joy was bad, shameful and many of us now have trouble experiencing pleasure and joy altogether.
There's also the feeling of embarrassment when you started to act out as a child, a need wasn't being met and so you cried out for it, perhaps you threw tantrums, or cried and were told to "STOP! SHUT UP! SHHH! DON'T DO THAT!" or maybe you were dragged out of the shop and put back in the car. You weren't seen, heard, felt, you weren't given the space you needed to express yourself, to be held, understood, you weren't met with compassion and love. This isn't a blame game, it's not our parents fault, they did the best they could within their own limitations. I now know this firsthand, there have been numerous times I haven't known how to hold the space for my little baby when he cries out, I've been triggered and swallowed by my emotions and lost sight of what he needed from me. We're all human. Don't take this to think that it's your fault for your children's behaviour and put yourself down, as well as don't blame your parents for the way you react and live your life. Instead take responsibility for your life now. Take the time to understand where things may have ignited from, why they came to be, take a breath and consciously choose how you want to move forward. How can you hold the space for yourself? How can you love yourself now? How can YOU be there for you now? Can you meet that wounded inner child within and give him/her all the love, patience, compassion, support, space and nurturing that they didn't receive?
Feeling my pleasure has been a long, long journey and I'm still navigating through this journey.
I have struggled to maintain good feelings, I seemed to always get dragged back down into the darkness, the shadows, the pain. There have been many times where I have cried what felt like a million tears that just wouldn't stop. The pain felt like it would never end. And I didn't know how I was going to go on, I really didn't think I wanted to continue this life. It was just too damn hard.
But I did continue on, I found the strength within, the courage, that speck of light that somehow managed to keep shining through. I picked myself up and I found a way to put one foot in front of the other, I went as far as I could see and when I got to that point I could see a little further and a little further and just a glimmer of hope led the way.
Over time it got a little easier to get myself out of the darkness when I fell back down. The Universe has always guided me, the angels, my guides, my family of light have held me each and every step of the way even when I couldn't feel their presence. They were always holding my hand.
It's part of being human to feel the good and the bad, eventually you stop labelling as good and bad and see all emotion as equal and worthy of your love.
Fast forward to today and I still experience moments of depression, anxiety, overwhelm, darkness, defeat, wanting to give up but it doesn't have a strong hold on me anymore. I have learned how to feel these emotions, these states of being, to acknowledge them, thank them, and allow them to move through me, and then I come back to centre. We must learn how to navigate through these challenging emotions because they never go away, we just get better at feeling them and moving the energy so they don't linger and hold us down.
Everything is energy, all emotions are energy, energy moves, that's what it does. When we resist feeling our emotions, when we avoid them through different avoidance strategies and defence mechanisms, we slow that energy down and it stays in the body for much longer. When we have the strength and the courage to fully step into what we are feeling and allow ourselves to FULLY EXPRESS ourselves the energy moves at a much faster rate, leaving the body and you are able to come back to balance, back to your centre, and continue on your journey lighter, freer, and at peace.
We also use A LOT of energy holding in emotions, burying them and pushing them down so we don't feel the "negative" or "bad" emotions so it's normal to feel tired, drained, depressed, unmotivated, disassociated, on autopilot, living out your day-to-day with little too look forward to. By using all your energy to suppress your emotions, you prevent yourself from feeling all the "GOOD" stuff, the "positive" emotions. You're kind of like a walking zombie, missing out on the human experience that YOU SIGNED UP FOR!
I still catch myself doing this...
We feel so afraid of feeling these so called "bad or negative" emotions as if by feeling them we won't survive, as if by stepping into the darkness we won't ever get out, the pain will never stop.
But here's the thing...
The more FULLY you feel what's within the sooner the energy moves through you and is released.
Isn't that funny? By holding in your emotions it actually causes them to last SO MUCH LONGER! It may be a more bearable sensation than the FULLNESS of the emotion your avoiding but you enter a state of continuous suffering until you've finally had enough and have to go through the emotion anyway... So why not just feel it now and move on?
It sounds simple and that's because it is... But simple doesn't mean easy.
It takes practice to fully surrender to your emotions, it means letting go of the control we think we have. And just because we have the ability to jump into the deep end and feel EVERYTHING NOW, doesn't mean we have to. Take it at your pace, take YOUR time, make the conscious effort to put one foot in front of the other and LOVE what arises, LOVE the journey.
It's okay to FEEL good.. bad.. average.. high.. low.. ANGRY.. frustrated.. defeated.. EXCITED.. joyful.. BLISS.. sad.. depressed.. anxious.. ECSTASY.. overwhelmed.. ALL IS WELCOME! ALL IS TEMPORARY!
A major turning point for me was finding
Biodynamic Breathwork
I stumbled across breathwork when I moved to the Gold Coast in 2019. It was absolutely mind boggling. I had no idea what I had just come across... The Universe certainly moves in mysterious ways... Later that year I came across BBTRI and they're upcoming training in Kin Kin. I decided to go for it and OH MY WORD! Words can't begin to explain my experience.
I have never experienced such UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, acceptance, support, joy, bliss, peace, freedom in my body, mind, and spirit. I felt my true essence, I felt a deep connection to myself and to the source of all being.
But it wasn't a joy ride getting to that space. It was hard, painful, overwhelming, MORE INTENSE than I can put into words. The amount of ANGER, RAGE and PAIN I was holding in my body was ASTOUNDING! And I had to go through it to move the energy, to release it and in turn I entered the most magnificent light, I experienced PROFOUND peace, I was grounded, I was Love, I was Light. And I didn't die! 😂 I'm still here to tell the tale.
All you need is the willingness and the courage to go within, to feel what's inside. Trust that the Universe only gives you what you CAN handle! YOU GOT THIS!
What is Breathwork?
Biodynamic breathwork combines conscious connected breathing, toning, movement, bodywork, and meditation to assist in the release of trauma and stress from the physical body. This work awakens the dormant parts of the self, bringing forth suppressed emotions so that they can be fully felt, expressed, and released, allowing for core wounds and traumas to be resolved and integrated within the nervous system. As these energetic blocks are released, life force energy is able to flow more freely, supporting you in the release of old patterns and beliefs.
Work With Me
Currently offering 1on1 Breathwork Sessions
Online & In Person Sessions
60 minutes | $110
90 minutes | $155
Email me at info@moniquecarmela.com to book in.
I also run group workshops and retreats with my partner Liam.
Upcoming workshops/retreats
Held regularly in Blenheim, Nelson, Motueka, and Golden Bay.
We also offer around the North Island, keep an eye out for our next North Island Tour.
All events shared in our Pyaar Tribe facebook group.
Join us at our next Transformational Retreat, more info here