Back to your old self again?
Do you find yourself reverting to old ways, habits and patterns that don’t serve you?
A message from Monique…
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It’s often when you get to a point in life that you’re in so much pain, you’ve reached your breaking point that you decide to make a change and look for something to help you get out of the pain.
Maybe you read a book, attend a workshop, seminar or retreat, you join a program or make some changes in your daily routine.
Things begin to shift and you’re feeling GREAT!
And all of a sudden something triggers you and you feel that pain again, you feel anxious or fearful, uncertain and you find yourself falling back to old ways… Like a domino effect.
It can be so subtle, so small and cause you to tumble and fall all the way back to the starting point.
This can feel so disheartening, after all that time and energy and often money as well that you invested to help yourself and it didn’t work… At least that’s how it feels.
I have been there time and time again!
I have felt so beaten up by life that I didn’t know how I would continue on. I didn’t know if I had the strength to keep going…
And was it all worth it?
Why get back up only to fall on my face again..
Life will throw you all sorts of challenges and tests and it’s up to you to decide what it means and how you will navigate it. Will you meet the challenges head on and tap into that strength within you or will you give up?
I have given up so many times, stewed in my pain and told myself over and over I will never be good enough, I will never be able to do this, to shift this, to live the life I truly desire. I got so low that it seemed that what I was saying was absolute truth…
But what I quickly realised was that it was just a thought in a moment of time..
A thought can be changed, and in a moment you can be living a completely different life.
In spite of my core beliefs and repetitive thoughts, there was something deep within me that knew all my dreams were possible and I would find a way to transform my life!
And hun, I want to remind you that all your dreams are possible to!
That strength is inside of YOU right now!
My life today is proof of that and how much is truly possible when you commit to yourself, heal the traumas and limiting beliefs and find new ways, tools and mentors to support you to create lasting change.
So what can you do RIGHT NOW to create lasting change?
1. LAUGH OUT LOUD
Seriously! Stop what you’re doing, observe your experience, how you’re acting, feeling, thinking… What does it remind you of, perhaps a childlike version of yourself, is there some stubbornness going on, or maybe you’re so deep in sadness perhaps there’s a funny memory you can bring to mind, a time when someone else was able to make you laugh at a time like this…
Laughter is incredibly healing and powerful in shifting your state. Laughter moves dense energy which is exactly what is needed. When you’re stuck in an old pattern, when you’re repeating heavy thoughts and feeling heavy emotions, you need to be able to shift that energy in order to move forward and one of the fastest ways is through laughter.
You may not feel like laughing… DO IT ANYWAY!! Even if it’s a fake laugh.. Or would you rather stay where you are? That’s okay to…
2. Heart Breathing
Take a few moments 2-5 minutes, sit, close your eyes and breathe into your heart.
Feel your heart expand on your inhale, soften on your exhale.
Place your hand over your heart. Connect with your heart, through your awareness and your touch.
Focus on your heart. Breathe in fully, breathe out and let go. Feel.
Continue for at least 2 minutes. Notice how you feel.
When you get triggered it can send you into an old version of yourself. Triggers send a stress signal to the brain and activates your survival brain, taking you out of your heart and preparing you for fight/flight/flee. When you breathe into your heart, it discharges the stress response and hormones and brings you back into balance and harmony within yourself, connecting you with your heart, allowing for creativity, inspiration and conscious awareness. From this place you can acknowledge your trigger and reaction, receive any necessary insights and propel yourself forwards into a new state and a new way of being.
Ask yourself:
What triggered me and why did it trigger me, what is the message here?
How did I react, did I overreact?
What thoughts and feelings came up for me?
How will I choose to respond next time this trigger arises?
What thoughts will I choose to have?
What do I need right now to support myself through this?
3. Share your experience
Sharing is a way that we remind ourselves that we’re not alone and when we remember this, we feel safe to heal and let go.
It can feel very vulnerable and scary sometimes to be open, trust and share with another and that is why it’s so powerful! It takes a lot of strength and courage to be vulnerable and begin to trust again, especially if you stopped trusting many years ago.
Do you have a friend, family member, therapist, coach, anyone in your life who you feel safe with? And if not is there someone you can start to build that safety and trust with, even with baby steps?
Take a moment to feel into who in your life you can talk to. If there truly isn’t a single person, I invite you to call someone in.
Close your eyes, take three deep breaths, sighing on your exhale.
Take 2 minutes for the heart breathing exercise
Affirm out loud: I am calling in a being who has the capacity to support me and hold space for me, a being that is safe and trustworthy who I can be my authentic, vulnerable self with.
See it. Feel it. Sense it. How would it feel in your body if this person was in your life right now?
Give thanks for this person entering your life and supporting you.