The Dark Night..

There’s a lot of information out there on the dark night of the soul, a pivotal time in the awakening process.

It’s a time that comes after you awakening where the darkness comes to light, offering the opportunity to integrate these parts of self.

Integrate literally means “to make whole”, you are bringing forth all parts of you that have been hidden, suppressed, repressed, and learning how to embrace these parts, heal the wounds and become whole again.

It’s not an easy process, in fact often it can be excruciatingly painful and confusing and you can feel incredibly isolated and alone.

There’s no way to determine how long it will last, it’s definitely not just the night. It can be days, weeks, months or even years.

It also tends to happen more than once. This is not a linear process and we tend to awaken in layers to allow time for rest and integration. It would be way too overwhelming for our sensitive systems to wake up all at once. We must be gentle, kind and compassionate as me move through these continuous waves of awakening, healing, contraction and expansion.

A mentor of mine put it beautifully..

Visualise a completely still lake, no noticeable movements in the water.

Now through a pebble into that lake and watch how the water ripples for a period of time before finding stillness again.

We must wait for that stillness before throwing in another pebble so to not overwhelm our systems and send us in the opposite direction.

You can not rush your journey for in doing so you will actually send yourself in the opposite direction and create more work for yourself and it will take even longer.

It’s through presence, patience, compassion, surrender, self-care and community that we best navigate the awakening experience.

I have struggled with many of these. Especially community.

It has felt way too vulnerable and scary to let others in, to show my true self, to connect and receive support.

The fear of judgement, rejection, not being liked or good enough made it feel safer for me to be alone and keep my distance. I may have had a friend or two along the way but I never allowed myself to show my true self, to be my true self.

And when conflict arose, I ran away and moved on, leaving those people behind.

I made stories up about these experiences - stories to blame them and validate my choices and also stories that made me out to be the “bad guy” or the victim.

These stories would play round and round in my mind, tormenting me and keeping me stuck and small.

I had many ways of coping with this and numbing out. Completely disconnecting from myself so I didn’t have to feel the pain.

This was all part of a divine process I was moving through.

I see that now.

My initial awakening happened when I was 19 just after my relationship with my best friend and first true love ended.

It was heart breaking but it led me to seek answers and what a gift that was. I am so grateful for this relationship that came into my life and sadly left my life.

But it was that grief that propelled me forth onto a very different path than the one that I was on..

The one that has brought me here.

After my initial awakening I had about 6 months of bliss, excitement, and overwhelming joy, it was something I had never experienced before and it was absolute ecstasy.

I would skip down the street with smile from ear to ear. I was on top of the frickin’ world.

Life was great.

Until it wasn’t…

The dark night came upon me and all have that bliss quickly left.

I spent years trying to find that bliss, chasing what I once had rather than opening up to what was.

Nothing seemed to work and everything I used to love, brought me very little to none of the joyful experience I craved.

I went back into what felt like depression which led me down some dark paths.

But these dark paths brought so much to light for me. Even though I didn’t know it at the time, it was all happening for me.

What I learned over the years of navigating years of the dark night is now what I am able to support others with so they don’t get stuck in the dark night and so they don’t feel alone in that process.

Being in a world where no one around you seems to understand what you’re going through is incredibly painful.

Community is so important. We are wired for connection.

Just like we need to breathe, we need to connect in order to be fully alive.

Connection was incredibly challenging for me and I didn’t feel safe to let others in. I had to learn how to create inner safety in order to feel safe to open up, surrender to the process and receive support.

My journey has led me down many paths and healing modalities and there are many, many more out there.

You will resonate with what’s right for you in the moment and when it no longer resonates you’ll move on.

This doesn’t mean it isn’t working anymore or there’s something wrong.

It just means that you are being redirected, divinely guided to the next step of your journey.

If there’s a being in your life, partner, friend, family member, co-worker, boss, or whoever

Maybe a situation, job, home, career, experience, that no longer resonates, you may experience a sense of something’s wrong, something’s wrong with them or me or just a feeling of something isn’t quite right

The invitation is to get curious about what that feeling is revealing to you, it’s very likely a divine intervention, something is ready to change or shift,

This may mean leaving the relationship, job or experience or it may mean shifting something within that relationship or experience.

Setting boundaries, asking for what you want or need, speaking your truth, listening to the other, acknowledging where you need to take self-responsibility or let go of projections, stories, and step more into your authentic power and truth.

When you’re navigating the dark night of the soul, often there is so much coming up all at once, so much going on that you can feel very overwhelmed and lack the space of capacity to be with what’s arising leading to feeling triggered, reactive and out of control,

You can often take it out on others or yourself and experience a lot of inner turmoil, chaos, anxiety, exhaustion, depression and lack the motivation or desire to keep going, to do the work to move through this, to get curious

You can often feel like giving up, shutting down and numbing out. Pushing everyone away and isolating yourself even more.

I want to let you know there is another way.

Get resourced - Find something, whether it’s an object, practice, or anything that can bring you into a state of calm, even if it’s just a little more calm than you’re currently experiencing. It may be closing your eyes and taking a few deep breaths or journaling what you’re thinking and feeling, sitting with your pet, baking, going for a walk, taking a bath…

If you’re not sure, ask yourself “What do I need to support myself through this?” and listen to what comes through

Try a few different things and see what works for you.

I invite you to ask for help and set a clear intention for what you need.

Setting an intention is incredibly powerful as it brings you into your power. By setting an intention you bring forth divine support, synchronicities, people, opportunities and experiences that will support you with bringing this intention to life.

When I finally allowed myself to ask for help, I received literally the next day.

The Universe will not intervene and help you unless you ask for that.

When I ask a question, the answer comes very quickly when I open to receive the answer.

Often we have no clue just how powerful and resourceful we actually are.

Often we can confuse setting an intention with having an expectation.

We have been conditioned to not ask for what we want and need because of the fear of not receiving it.

What if I ask a question and the Universe, Source, God, the Divine doesn’t come through?

What would that mean about me?

I’m not good enough, not worthy, just a piece of shit..

This can send us into many stories, beliefs and painful emotions.

We don’t ask because there’s this fear of I won’t get it and that will hurt too much.

Surrender is important here.

Set your intention, ask for what you need, ask a question and LET IT GO!

Let go of expectations, attachments, stories and create the space for your intention to flow to you. It’s not something you need to chase but actually something to allow in.

This takes practice, it took me many years in fact.

But now I just know that my messages are received and will be answered, this knowing and the practice of surrender and trust allows this all to happen much faster than ever before.

I can receive answers in literally moments after asking the question.

It’s not something you can rush, but with consistent practice, you will get there.

If you are currently navigating the dark night of the soul, my message for you is

You will get through this.

If you do not have the support you need to get through this, I invite you to set the intention to be guided to the being that can help you at this time for your highest good and the highest good of all.

Trust as much as you can that this message will be received and answered.

Get curious about where you’re guided, who you’re guided to, the synchronicities in your life.

Get really curious about what arises for you as you read this post, what’s surfacing for you?

What is ready to be seen, heard, felt, expressed?

Can you allow yourself to go there

To see yourself, to feel yourself

The dark night of the soul is not happening to you but for you - bringing the dark into the light to integrate - to become whole.

You are exactly where you need to be.. Just focus on taking the next step

Let go of the next 100 steps

And just see your next step

And when you do that, the next step will reveal itself

And the next, and the next and the next

You are always being guided.

With love,
Mon xx