Manifestation

When i first came across the law of attraction in the book “The Secret” i thought i could think myself to a better reality, away from my perceived problems and challenges towards a life of abundance. This may have some truth to it but it is not the whole truth. It was however the start of an incredible adventure.

My chosen adventure has led me down some fascinating rabbit holes. For a long time i felt i was not getting anywhere that i wanted to be, i was unable to achieve enlightenment and experience abundance no matter what i tried. I was frustrated, disheartened, angry and in a great deal of suffering. Why did the law of attraction not work for me, was it me? was it something i was or wasn’t doing? why was it not working?!

I got increasingly frustrated and angry with the world and i fell into deep despair, depression and addictive patterns that led me deep into my shadows where i felt very lost. I felt trapped in a loop of seeking heightened states of awareness and enlightenment and dropping into depressive and anxious states. I’d feel high and on the right path, only to get impatient and quickly give up, turning back to my addictive patterns, becoming consumed by the darkness within.

Fast forward to this now moment… Through all of my experiences i have come to realize my power of creation and manifestation. I realized it was always working, just in a way that i did not understand at that time. I was creating my reality from my subconscious mind, from the repetitive thoughts, feelings and traumas that i did not realize were running the show. Traumas that i had no idea i was holding in my being.

I thought by thinking positively and saying affirmations as often as i could, everything would change in an instant and when it didn’t change fast enough i went back into my shadows, into depression, and into the negative thoughts and feelings that have been running my life for as long as i can remember. I became angry, disheartened, frustrated and deeply depressed.

We can’t simply positively think our way out of trauma, well not in my experience, it definitely has a place, don’t get me wrong… But it’s not the whole picture. I was missing a lot of vital information, tools and understandings which came much later in my journey but at the most perfect time as always.

So let me break it down…

Firstly i want to state that this is what worked for me, this is coming from my personal experience and please know that we are all unique. Please take what resonates and leave the rest.

TRAUMA - this is a big one. We all have trauma, whether we are consciously aware of it or not, whether we perceive it to be big or small, trauma is trauma and it affects us and our lives (not always negatively). Trauma can be something that maybe doesn’t seem that harmful to us now but may have been very harmful to us when we were young, when we are vulnerable and extra sensitive. If the trauma is not resolved it creates layers and similar experiences to get our attention. If we continue to ignore the trauma or perhaps we don’t have the understanding and tools to be with this trauma we create more layers to work through. I had A LOT of layers that i was completely unaware of!! When i found breathwork i realized just how much i was holding in and my life made so much more sense in why i was creating the same situations and experiences and why i couldn’t seem to get to where i wanted to be.

PRESENCE - next i want to speak to presence. Many of us are stuck in the past and/or the future. When we focus our awareness/mind/thoughts/feelings on the past we tend to recreate more of the same. When we are focused on the past we tend to be focusing on what happened to us or what we once had and no longer have, this holds us in a victim mindset and creates the experience of being a victim again and again, this can create feelings of depression. When we focus on the future we tend to be focused on what we do not have yet, what we are wanting, or perhaps even anxiety around what’s to come, the uncertainty of the future, a need to control the future by knowing and predicting the future in order to protect ourselves. When we are in constant states of anxiety and depression by focusing on the past and future we are creating experiences in alignment with those vibrations. I speak about these two energies closely here because this was my experience jumping back and forth between these two energies/experiences. When we allow ourselves to reflect on our past, to feel the emotions fully of our experiences, we are able to complete those cycles, releasing the heaviness, and come into the present moment where something new can be created. We can set intentions for what we wish to experience, we can set goals and call in our desires whilst also letting go of the need to control, and bringing our focus from the future to this now moment. When we focus on the future and set goals for the future that’s where they tend to stay until we are ready to call forth our desires into the now.

GRATITUDE - be grateful now. Express gratitude, journey into your heart and feel gratitude for all that is, for all that you are, for the experience you are having now, for all the blessings, for all the challenges, for all of it. I found this one really challenging because i didn’t feel grateful. I started doing gratitude journaling many years ago but i never really felt grateful, i was suffering! what on earth was there to be grateful for? Never the less i did it anyway in the hopes that someday i would genuinely feel grateful. Well something worked because i have never been so grateful in my life, and for the simplest of things! So what changed? I began to heal my past and release control and expectations. I opened myself up to the infinite possibilities life has to offer and i came back to the now moment. The deep healing and release work around trauma was massive in helping me to genuinely feel grateful and when you’re grateful, genuinely grateful, you attract more to be grateful for. Not from an ego place though, i heard a quote around this and thought if i did my gratitude journal and just wrote whatever came to mind, it would work and bring me more, but i wasn’t being genuine, i was doing it out of a place of greed. I now feel grateful from a soul level, it doesn’t matter about what’s coming next, i am grateful now and i feel so blessed to be alive, i am fulfilled now whether my desires come or not, and because of that i keep on receiving.

FEEL - give yourself full permission to feel. Many of us have learned to suppress our emotions, we’re told they’re not appropriate, they’re shameful, and so on. We are programmed to suppress our emotions and so we spend so much of our energy holding them in, holding them down, and believe me it takes A LOT of energy to do this. And if this is how you’re choosing to use your energy, you don’t have much left to create the reality you truly desire… So LET IT OUT my friend! Let yourself BE HEARD!! Express yourself, it’s your right, this is why we are here, to feel, experience, to express ourselves, and to create!

CREATE - and the last thing i want to speak to is creation. What do you truly want to create? For much of my life i wanted to create what others had already created.. Why? Because i wanted to fit in, i wanted to be accepted, i wanted to look good, i wanted to be seen as AMAZING in all ways… Really though… i wanted to feel good enough, to be worthy. I was looking for others to validate me and so i thought if i achieved what those who i looked up to were achieving i would finally be validated and seen as good enough and therefore feel good enough. Somewhere down the line in my life i received the information that i wasn’t good enough and that was incredibly traumatizing, i didn’t understand this and i didn’t have the tools to heal this and so i continued to create this illusive reality that i wasn’t good enough and so i continued to believe it because it’s what i saw, felt and experienced. Through the years of inner work i have healed this trauma, i have released the belief and i have remembered who i truly am and i now know that i am good enough, i am worthy, always have been, always will be… and you know what? So are you. And so what is it you truly desire? What are you choosing to create here and now? Do you want to continue creating this or will you choose something new? Set your intention, remind yourself of this intention everyday and follow your inner guidance, your inner compass, do the inner work that is called of you, release what doesn’t serve you and embrace who you truly are.. You are a truly powerful creator being of light and love.

Now there is more to manifestation and creation, there is so much more i want to share with you but i don’t want to turn this post into a book (yet haha) and so i will leave it here for now. My intention for this blog post is to spark curiosity within you, to get you thinking, feeling, and consciously creating, and to activate the remembrance of who you truly are. I send you so much love, thank you for being here.

I remember when i gave up on the law of attraction, the acceptance of “it just doesn’t work for me”, the first sign of surrender and letting go of expectations which created the space for me to receive everything i ever wanted. I now sit here as I am writing these words reflecting back on these days and seeing the transformation in my self and my reality. Since finding Breathwork in 2019 my life has transformed, i have found my way home and i have realized manifestation, the law of attraction really does work, always did. And you know what… I’m actually grateful for all of it, for all of my experiences that led me here. Thank you.

Checkout my blog post Visualization for a powerful tool to help you with Manifestation.