Liberation Through Boundary Setting..

I can't tell you just how liberating it is to set authentic boundaries, how much more connected I feel, empowered and fulfilled.

Like I can fully live my life authentically and unapologetically because boundaries really do create a sense of safety

Cos the thing is..

We have boundaries regardless of if we are aware of them or have consciously set them.

You may have never set a boundary in your life... But that doesn't mean they're not there because if you had no boundaries why would you experience resentment or emotional triggers, anxiety or fear in relationships... It's connected to personal boundaries

We fear the boundary will be crossed, that we will be hurt, abandoned, abused, unloved

And so at times we may abandon ourselves and our boundaries by not expressing them to protect ourselves from loss of love, acceptance and belonging.

But when we realise that it's in knowing and expressing our boundaries that actually creates inner safety, empowerment, and fulfilling relationships, we realise just how sacred and IMPORTANT boundaries are...

Not only for ourselves but for all.

Setting boundaries was NOT something that came naturally to me, it was a long and painful process for me. 

The amount of people that I allowed to walk all over me, take what they want and leave when they were done. I felt physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually abused and bruised.

But it felt more like I was the one abusing me, I was abandoning myself, I wasn’t taking care of myself and I continued to enable unhealthy behaviour and toxic relationships that tore me apart again and again until I finally had enough and I barricaded my heart to protect myself but this also prevented me from experience deep love, connection and belonging.

Please note that I am NOT condoning the behaviour of others’ here, this is not to say treatment I experienced from others was okay, what I am saying is that I felt so unworthy, undeserving of more, I felt so afraid of being unloved, unaccepted, not belonging, of being abandoned, I would take whatever was available, I had very little standards from a place of unworthiness and desperation.

I was deeply traumatised and had no idea.

In the healing of these core wounds I was able to uncover the innate worthiness within, declare my worthiness, step into my power, find my voice, know and set my boundaries and transform my life.

I consciously chose to stop abandoning myself and instead love myself, have more compassion for myself, treat myself with kindness and care. I chose me. I stopped putting everyone else before my needs and I chose me.

And in choosing me I fill my own cup to the point of overflow where I have so much more to give. I feel safe to open up to others and be myself in the presence of others. This is a continuous process and I still experience uncertainty at times and times where I don’t feel safe to open up and that’s okay, I use my ability to discern when it’s safe for me to open up… I choose me, I put myself first and take care of me.

I continue to practice setting boundaries and in doing so I let others know it’s safe for them to do so as well.

When I fall down in the process, when a boundary is crossed and I don’t address it in the moment, I feel the feelings, I’m there for myself every step of the way and I reflect on what I could do differently, knowing that in the process of not setting or expressing a boundary, of losing confidence, there is a lesson. Sometimes we don’t know what our boundary is until it’s crossed.

Some situations are more confronting than others and fear may arise. There is no failure in the learning process, not in the way we see/perceive failure. It’s all part of the learning process and the more we practice, the more we fall and get back up, the stronger we get.

So keep going my friend, you’ve got this.

In my upcoming workshop, How To Set Authentic Boundaries With Confidence,

My intention is to make this process much easier and smoother for you and to support you on your journey to setting authentic boundaries that will allow you to live life authentically, feeling empowered and confident to set boundaries.

When we share what we learned on the journey, the times we fell, the times we got back up, the lessons, insights, practices and tools we received, it supports others to get there faster, more efficiently and safely. 

The healing and growth that takes place is exponential when we come together.

I am so excited to dive more deeply into all of this in my upcoming workshop How To Set Authentic Boundaries, reserve your space today!