Empowered Pregnancy
My Story
The Beginning...
In late March of this year, 2020, my partner and I found out we were expecting. We were not trying to become pregnant, although we had spoken about it a lot we felt this part of the journey was still a couple of years into the future. I always knew that baby would come along exactly when it was meant to but this did not stop the fear from rising within me.
I expected that I would have life figured out when I became pregnant, that I would have healed all my wounds, known my life purpose, reached some sort of enlightened state so that I had all the lessons to provide my baby. But that's not really how life works out. Do we ever really have it all figured out? Or is it a fact that as we learn something knew it opens up to more of the unknown, leading us on a journey of constant discovery and curiosity. I feel if we knew everything, life would get boring, feel pointless, after all aren't we all here on Earth to learn, grow, and evolve.
As I progress through this pregnancy I feel more and more into just how Divine this timing is, how perfect it is that baby has chosen to come in at this time.
When I first suspected I may be pregnant due to my period being late, I was in immense denial, I thought of every other possibility for my period being late. Liam and I had just arrived back in NZ from our trip to Perth and had to go into mandatory isolation so I was unable to get a test for 2 weeks. The suspense was troubling, but I also was afraid of what the test would reveal so part of me was relieved to not know. Finally the 2 weeks had passed and I was able to get the test, and what do you know... It was positive.
I was in such denial I took it twice, it was positive both times. I was hit with this intense fear and disappointment in myself, I didn't feel I was ready to be someone's Mum, I don't have all the answers like it seemed my Mum did when I was younger. I felt I barely knew how to take care of myself let alone another human. I started reflecting on my past and thought of all my regrets and irresponsible actions, thinking "How could this person possibly be a Mother". I sunk into a bit of a depressed state for the remainder of lock down, about 3 or 4 weeks. I was nauseous, lacked energy and motivation, I filled up on carbs trying to keep the hunger away, and I spent pretty much the entire time in bed. I was annoyed, I thought this was meant to be a happy, joyous time, it didn't feel this way at all. After about 5 weeks inside, it was time to rejoin the world and go back to work. I found this helped give me back some energy, and started to lift me out of the depressive state I was in.
I believe this year is just the beginning of the return of Christ Consciousness, so as I was going through this new change of pregnancy, and this identity shift, I also felt I was going through a much deeper change, expanding my consciousness, preparing for ascension. It was all so intense and still is. As I began to get moving again into some sort of "normal", and as my energy began to return I began to feel intuitively that this depressive state was what I needed, I needed to surrender into this pain, to fully feel it without trying to escape it like I have desperately tried to do in the past. Over time very slowly, things began to come together, and although I still felt like crap I knew there was a deeper purpose and it was all happening for me.
Reflecting on my past I saw that I seemed to have a tendency to ride the roller coaster of intense highs and lows, I was all over the place all of the time, living in chaos. This time everything had slowed down so much that I felt I was living in slo-motion, I was able to experience this dip so deeply in a safe environment where I could surrender to the pain and still feel supported, I could notice the subtle messages coming through, the slowness and the lockdown of COVID gave me the opportunity to breathe and contemplate, and process. It was a profound experience looking back on it now, it truly was a gift. As I felt into these shifts, as I reflected on my life, I began to put a few puzzle pieces together and I felt my consciousness rise ever so slowly. Truly profound.
For most of my pregnancy up until maybe a month ago I didn't dive too deep into thinking of pregnancy, or planning, or preparing, I was so focused on the expanding consciousness of myself and the planet, that's where I directed most of my energy. I didn't feel called to research or read books, or anything related to pregnancy, perhaps still in denial about the whole thing, still processing the fact that I was going to be a Mother, it was a little too much to comprehend.
Over the last couple of months I felt myself come to a more settled place, feeling more balanced than ever before. Instead of jumping from low to high, I noticed that this time I slowly came out of the depressive state and settled somewhere in between, feeling at peace. I felt more connected to my body and to my intuition, I began receiving messages and guidance more and more. I noticed that working at the cafe was no longer in alignment and it was time to leave, I got the nudge and decided to return to working for myself. The plan was to have a few massage clients a week and run a weekly yoga class, funnily enough as soon as I stepped into that I stepped into my flow, my yoga classes were more popular than I ever expected and went to running 4 per week within a couple of weeks. And in that first month I more than halved my working hours and doubled my income. I was so grateful for the Universe and for the guidance to make this change for myself and for the wellbeing of my baby, as well as feeling so proud of myself and a feeling of "FINALLY!!" something has actually worked. I've worked for myself on and off for the past 5 years and nothing ever felt in alignment until I started my Candlelight Yin Yoga classes. Wow, Yay, haha. It actually felt like I was a kid again playing business, as if my inner child had come out and I felt like I was playing, not working.
Coming back to pregnancy, as I stepped into this new energy, this feeling of alignment I felt myself open, and I noticed more and more information come to me in regards to natural pregnancy, the conditioning many of us have around pregnancy and the medical system, and I felt the lies and corruption begin to crumble around me. I wouldn't say I have intentionally gone looking for this information but it keeps finding me and I am so grateful. Now I'm not going to say that all doctors, midwives, and the entire medical system is a croc. Butttt there's just so much that the majority of us don't know and aren't told. We are conditioned to fear birth, and expecting it to be this painful and possibly traumatic experience but it doesn't have to be this way. So I'm here to share with you some things that I have found, or rather have found me. Now this is all new to me and I'm still learning as we all are, so I ask you to have an open mind and to also do your own research. I believe we all have the RIGHT to decide where and how we give birth, it's your body, your baby, your journey, and no one else whether they think they're the authority or not has the right to tell you what you should do. It's UP TO YOU! And you alone. Yes we can take advice and take all the information into account but it has to come down to you and what intuitively feels right for you. You have immense power within you and your intuition knows what choices are best for you.
So let's dive in shall we... I have come across quite a bit of information so I'm going to list all of these and talk a little bit about them but they are things that I have felt right for me so listen to your intuition and what resonates with you.
Home Birth
The thought of being in a hospital has never felt right to me, I hate hospitals, Whenever I've had to go I've wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible, so why on earth would I want to experience this life changing sacred event in a place I do not enjoy being in... Bright lights, strangers, people who think they have authority over me, who think they know what's best for me, I know what's best for me. I don't know about you but I never really felt heard by doctors, it feels like because they have some "fancy" degree they think they know what's best, but their opinions are exactly that... THEIR OPINIONS. Anyway I just knew I would not be delivering my baby in a hospital unless there was some sort of DIRE emergency. I wanted to be at home, surrounded by my crystals, with incense and candles burning, I wanted to be in my comfy clothes, listening to music, with the ability to walk around and do what I needed to do in the comfort of my own home. I thought it would be amazing to have shamanic instruments playing, and what do you know I found myself completing a sound healing course just last week and now have my very own crystal singing bowl on her way to me. Everything seems to be unfolding exactly as it's meant to.
I thought of going back to Perth to deliver my baby but decided to stay in NZ as they offer free midwife services and home births, which is actually quite pricey to do in aus, I found a midwife in NZ and felt confident about delivering the baby here. The only thing being, they legally need 2 midwives in order to do a home birth, and in my mind I'm thinking "There's no way I'm going to the hospital, so I may very well be doing it without any midwife at all", and as I pondered this thought, the more right the option to do it just with my partner felt.
Did you know by having a home birth you reduce the risk of postpartum depression aka PTSD from having a traumatic birth experience, you reduce the risk of severe tears, you reduce the risk of having a traumatic experience altogether and you increase the likelihood that you will have a euphoric orgasmic birthing experience. By being as comfortable and relaxed as possible you increase the likelihood of having the most natural, transformational experience that us as women are designed to have! There have been scientific studies to prove this truth, that home birth reduces your risks of intervention.
Labour isn't meant to be this fearful, painful, traumatic experience that we need to endure in order to become mothers, I no longer believe that God intended us to go through such pain and now have come to realise how much of a gift this experience can be and is designed to be. We are so lucky to be able to go through experience with our newborn, to be able to connect with the soul of our baby before they arrive, to be able to birth new life. So lucky. And it's time more of us knew this and reclaimed our power.
Another great option here would be to have a water birth, or utilise your bath if you have one, as the warmth of the water will act as a natural pain relief, and keep you nice and relaxed. Adding some essential oils to the bath will create a beautiful aroma encouraging further relaxation.
Orgasmic Birth
I did mention this above, it really surprised me when I discovered that experiencing orgasm during labour is not only possible but has happened for many many women around the world. Many of these women said they were embarrassed to share this and didn't share the experience for some time post birth. Why are we so embarrassed about orgasm, why are so many of us sexually repressed? Perhaps from past trauma, perhaps from past lives, maybe even from being a young child and getting told NO! STOP! when we begin to explore our bodies from a place of curiosity, being constantly covered up and told to take things out of our mouth because they're dirty. All of this and more begins the conditioning of Joy=Bad/wrong. For myself personally, I totally resonate with the feeling of joy being wrong, of pleasure being wrong, of sex being dirty, when someone makes a sexual joke or comment, and we think "Oh that person has a dirty mind", why do we think this is dirty? Sex is how we all came into this earth, we are all innately sexual beings, and it's time to change these beliefs, to step into our sacred sexual power and embrace the orgasmix way of life.
So yes Orgasmic Birth is possible. It may seem a little out there but it happens, and it's possible it can happen for you. To learn more about this you can read the book Orgasmic Birth by Elizabeth Davis & Debra Pascali-Bonaro. I'm still working my way through the book so I'll leave this part up to you and your own devices. Perhaps if the thought of Orgasm during birth brings up feelings of discomfort for you, you may want to embark on an inner journey to discover why that is. Take the opportunity to rediscover and open up to your own innate sexuality.
The Book: http://elizabethdavis.com/books/orgasmic-birth/
Freebirth
Hmm... What is free birth? The way I have perceived this is that we as women have the right to decide exactly where and how we birth our babies. Whether that's in a hospital, birth centre, at home, or even out in the bush somewhere. It's our body, it's our baby and it's our life. Women over the years have lost their power and slowly we have begun to rise up and take that power back, and the pregnancy for me I have noticed exactly that, I feel more than ever that I am standing in my power and I am choosing what is right for me, regardless of what anyone else thinks, including those closest to me.
I will start by mentioning Yolande, the Bauhauswife. This is where I came across the concept of free birth, this woman who has been a birth attended for over 20 years is so incredibly knowledgeable on the subject and I highly recommend tuning into her. I first came across her when my partner mentioned an interview on Chef Pete Evans podcast, I jumped onto this and listened to the interview and was so enlightened by the conversation, and totally resonated with what she had to share. From there I tuned into her Instagram feed and read a couple of her blog posts and decided to purchase her course The Complete Guide to Freebirth. This woman has birthed 8 of her own babies, 6 of which she did at home with her partner and a couple friends present, no midwife, no doctors. Of course with any birth there's always risk, even if you're at a hospital, possibly even more risk if you're in a hospital. Our bodies as women is literally physiologically designed for birth and unfortunately many of us are misinformed and have forgotten this.
In saying all of this, if a hospital birth is what resonates with you, there's nothing wrong with that, it's completely your choice. It's still a great idea to be well informed of everything involved and knowing all of your options, and knowing that you still have the power when it comes to your birth. Plan ahead for all the different possibilities of how your birth may unfold, and have your birth bag ready so you can create your ideal environment even if you're in a hospital room. Utilise the 5 senses and make your space your own!
Here are some links if you would like to explore this further... Again listening to what resonates with you, although there's no harm listening to what she has to say and seeing if it resonates. Let's be well informed together!!
Interview with Pete Evans: Click Here
Bauhauswife Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Bauhauswife/
Bauhausewide Website: https://freebirth.ca/
The Complete Guide to Freebirth Course: https://www.freebirthsocietycourses.com/cgtf
Hypnobirthing
Hypnobirthing in a nutshell is a way to use your breath and relaxation techniques to encourage a euphoric and natural birth. I decided to go with The Positive Birth Company's hypnobirthing online course, which really opened my mind to what is truly possible as well as breaking down the conditioning I wasn't even aware I had within me. It's really made such a difference for me in what to expect moving forward as well as helped me to feel empowered and lucky to be given the opportunity to experience birth. It has completely changed the way I see pregnancy and birth. I'm so very grateful to have found this course and to have gone ahead and made this purchase.
The course is so enlightening, and has helped me to release the anxiety and fear I felt rising within me as I approach labour. There are many hypnobirthing courses you can take, I will link the one that I decided to go with and again it's up to you whether you feel you want to look further into this. I'm no experienced professional in any of my suggestions, just a new mother learning and discovering different ways that I believe are best for me and my baby. I want my baby to have the most magical experience as baby enters this new world, I want baby to feel safe and supported, and surrounded with unconditional love.
The Positive Birth Company: Hypnobirthing Digital Pack
Freya App (Labour Tracker): https://thepositivebirthcompany.co.uk/freya-hypnobirthing-app
Tools & Equipment
Squeezy App ~ Strengthen your pelvic floor to encourage smooth labour. I won't go into too much detail here about just how important having a strong pelvic floor will help you but you can look further into this yourself. I just know that it's important in general, as well as during pregnancy, for labour, and for post pregnancy. It's important regardless of being pregnant.
Yoni wand & Jade egg ~ Another amazing tool prior to pregnancy (for those who are planning to become pregnant but aren't yet!) to help with strengthening your pelvic floor as well as releasing and clearing old energies and past trauma from your vagina/yoni, womb space, and entire being. Opening you to new pleasures, helping you to step into your power and embrace your innate sexuality, encouraging orgasm in general which is sure to help you with achieving orgasmic birth. I received my first egg as a gift from a dear friend, and I purchased my rose quartz yoni wand from AliExpress. Below is a link for more information on the incredible benefits of the Yoni Wand.
More info: https://www.yonipleasurepalace.com/shop/rose-quartz-pleasure-wand
Other beneficial Crystals
Red Jasper - Grounding crystal, helping you to feel grounded, safe, and supported throughout your pregnancy and labour.
Rose Quartz - Encouraging unconditional love towards yourself, pregnancy is a transformational journey, for myself being my first time it's all very new and uncertain and I can definitely use all the loving kindness and support I can muster. This crystal is so powerful in helping to cultivate self love and acceptance, helping to release those past regrets and fears of not being good enough for my baby.
Amethyst - Helping you to achieve clear vision and connection to source, knowing that you are always supported by the Universe, and helping you to formulate a clear vision for your pregnancy and labour by strengthening your connection to your intuition and to Source energy or God energy.
Carnelian - Connecting you to your sacral chakra located at your womb space where your baby resides before being birthed into this earthly plane.
Angel Quartz -
Watermelon Tourmaline -
You can search further into what other crystals will support you on your journey by googling Crystals for Pregnancy & Labour. Happy Googling!
Essential Oils ~ https://www.doterra.com/US/en/blog/healthy-living-how-to-use-essential-oils-during-pregnancy
Rebozo ~ Handwoven silk very long scarf that helps promote comfort during contractions.
For more info: https://spinningbabies.com/learn-more/techniques/the-fantastic-four/rebozo-manteada-sifting/
Squatty Potty ~ Birthing tool, similar to a birthing stool but mouch more affordable, to keep your upright and comfortable during labour, allowing you to utilize gravity to assist in natural birth.
Birthing Ball ~ Great for pelvic floor exercises, as well as to keep you comfortable and upright during labour as contraction begin. Staying upright through your contraction is going to help the flow of labour and encourage dilation.
TENS Machine ~ Optional tool for natural pain relief, using electrical impulses to help with blood flow.
Birthing Pool or Bath ~ Heat is another amazing natural pain relief, encouraging relaxation, by being as relaxed as possible you will reduce the likelihood of panic leading to adrenaline which will prevent labour progression, and increase oxytocin which will assist you in natural birth and encourage labour progression. STAY WARM! Very important.
I will also mention if your baby is breach, one thing that may be keeping the baby in this position is the baby feeling cold. Cold feet will have the baby trying to cuddle up higher into your belly to stay warm (I received this information from my acupuncturist who I have been seeing throughout my pregnancy for pain relief), keeping your body and especially your feet warm will keep your baby warm and encourage baby to rotate when it is time. If your baby is breach, I also received a tip through my hypnobirthing course about using a bag of frozen peas placed at the top of your belly and a hot water bottle at the bottom of your belly by your uterus to encourage baby to rotate as baby will move towards the warmth. I'm not sure how proven this information is, but it definitely resonates with me and it's something that you can try without risk.
Ahhh, what a journey... I get more and more excited with each passing day.
I will be sharing more information to help you on your journey so subscribe to my blog to stay connected and be notified of upcoming posts. Also feel free to join my Facebook Group, the We Are Love Tribe, where we can share our journeys together. And leave a comment below if any of the information above resonated with you or if you have anything to add, what are you doing to help support your journey?