A New Year.
What is 2019 going to look like for you?
Another year has come to an end, another year begins...
The holidays were nothing like I was expecting! I had planned a few days down south with my now ex-partner, I was so excited leading up to the week, finally having someone to spend the holidays with. It was a disaster.
Like anything it had its ups and downs, it was hard, it was challenging, and provided me with many lessons, ending 2018 with a bang.
Break ups are never fun, but somethings aren't meant to last forever, they serve their purpose of providing the lessons we require in order to grow. From the start I didn't see it lasting, I was looking for a friend, for comfort, for connection, and that's what I got. Along with frustration, anger, love, experiences, lessons, laughter, joy, and much more. You can learn so much about yourself through relationships, how you act in situations, areas you've matured, areas that still need a lot of work, fears come up, beliefs and habits surface. It was such an eye-opening experience for me. I see it as my final lesson for 2018, and an opportunity to put those lessons into action for 2019, an opportunity to start fresh and embrace this new beginning.
My sister Karlie gave me a book for Christmas, Caught Between Two Worlds by Marion Weatherburn, highly recommend! One thing that stood out is when she speaks of soul mates, and how you find each other when you least expect it, when you’re both ready, when you’ve learned the lessons required before you can meet one another. It speaks of being your own soul mate first, to love, respect, and honour yourself before you can have someone else love, respect and honour you. So that’s my new years resolution, to practice Loving, Respecting, and Honouring myself. To become my own soul mate, to love myself unconditionally, to live in the moment and enjoy each moment and experience it as it comes without attachment.
When we experience positive emotions, we tend to attach ourselves to it, never wanting it to end, when it does we do everything to recreate that experience, and find ourselves living in the past. The only way to truly experience that emotion is to live in the present moment, if we live in the past, or attempt to force a situation to recreate a past emotion we end up disappointed and miss new opportunities to experience different emotions and experiences. We miss what's happening right now. Not every moment is going to be incredible, that's what makes those moments special but if we are living in the past we could be missing out on the very thing we're trying to recreate. If you come back to the present moment, you may just be pleasantly surprised, who knows... Maybe the present moment will be even better than the one you're fixating on. You never know what the future holds, I know there will be good times and bad times, pain and pleasure, opposites are inevitable, in order to feel good we have to know what bad feels like otherwise good would just be the norm, nothing special. And is that really what we want? To feel good all the time that it becomes boring? I don't think so, so I guess I must say Thank You to all the shitty experiences because without you I wouldn't have any good ones.
So what are my biggest takeaways from 2018?
Breakups suck... I think we can all agree on that one
I learned I can’t force people to learn, I can encourage but ultimately people will learn in their own time, when they are ready.
I learned that I cant truly love if its attached to expectations, for example “I’m going to love you and do all this for you but you have to do this or I will take away my love” Being fearful of getting hurt and losing love resulted in trying to control the situation to protect myself, and in the end I hurt both of us and came from a place of negativity rather than love.
I learned that when someone truly loves you, when it's meant to be it will be, no amount of giving or forcing will change that. I believe souls are pre-destined to meet to learn and to help one another grow, and although painful when it's time to say goodbye it's important to experience.
I learned that I am a strong woman, who has a lot to give, who has a voice, who is no longer afraid to ask for what she wants, who isn’t afraid to express herself.
2018 was a difficult year, I experienced so much pain and suffering, as well as laughter and joy. Constant challenges, ups and downs, pleasure and pain. I somehow found a way to truly believe in myself, to see my worth for the first time. I can finally say with complete honesty that I love the person I am, I love who I am unconditionally, the good and the bad. I'm so excited for the year ahead, ready to take it head on.
My intention for 2019 is to love unconditionally, myself and others, and to live in the present moment as much as possible. To experience life fully, to be my own Soul Mate. I always spend money, time and energy trying to make others love me and make others happy, this year I'm going to take that money, time and energy and spend it on me. This is my year!
What are your biggest takeaways from 2018?
What is your New Years Resolution?
What is your intention for 2019?
How committed are you?