Sexual Healing & Empowerment through Somatic Experiencing
This has truly been a long time coming…
To be able to openly, courageously and vulnerably share about my struggles with sexuality and how I healed from sexual trauma that has allowed me to more fully embrace self expression, sexuality, joy and pleasure.
Growing up wasn’t easy with all the baggage that had been passed down through my lineage and the generation who walked before me… But I truly believe I have been blessed with all I need to heal these wounds and beliefs, to liberate myself and support the liberation of others and to truly THRIVE in all areas of life.
Everything I have ever needed has always been within me.
And it’s within you to.
This is a reminder that you have within you NOW all you need to THRIVE in this life.
But thriving doesn’t mean easy.
After all… What thing that was easy was truly worth it…
We are here for a journey not a quick and easy ride.
We are here to experience the ecstasy and bliss of connection with self and another, to know thy self…
And as human beings we are sexual beings, primal… We desire connection, passion, love, intimacy with ourselves and with another.
It’s natural, it’s instinctual… So why does it feel so wrong???
Where has all this sexual shame come from???
Why is it sooo taboo???
For far too long our sexuality, especially as women, has been suppressed.
Has been wronged and shamed.
Women have been labelled a slut if you do and a frigid if you don’t
Shamed if you do, shamed if you don’t
I experienced a lot of fear and shame around my voice, expression and body for many years.
Thinking I should do and say things a certain way, I should look and act a certain way.
The need to be perfect ran my life and how I showed up in the world.
I felt trapped in my body and in my mind and in this world.
When it came to connecting intimately and sexually with another, I would completely constrict from head to toe, I was stuck in my head and couldn’t relax.
Connecting with myself was NOT even an option, the shame was unbearable.
And I would often disassociate.
Orgasm was near to impossible and when I first started trying to have sex, I was prescribed valium to help me relax..
That didn’t even work.
I started engaging sexually because everyone else was doing it but deep down I knew I wasn’t ready or interested yet. It was terrifying to me, I didn’t know what I was doing and I felt so uncomfortable but I did it anyway.
I wanted to fit in, to belong, to be “normal”
Not the ideal reason to start getting naked with another…
Over the years I experienced sexual harassment, sexual abuse and a lot of judgement that blocked me up further. I found partners that weren’t able to hold space and support me as I navigated deep, dark waters that overwhelmed me.
But I didn’t know how to hold that kinda space for myself, how could they…
Eventually I found a man that was able to hold space for me and love me through the painful healing process I began moving through in 2019
And here I am today on the other side of all of this, experiencing more sexual freedom than I ever thought possible.
Being able to experience more pleasure in all areas of life than I EVER thought possible…
It’s been a truly wild journey, one I could have never seen coming 😜😂
And now I get to support others in releasing sexual shame, healing and integrating trauma and embracing more pleasure in all areas of their life.
The thing is how we do one thing is how we do mostly everything
And so when you are suppressing your sexuality, your pleasure… You will often find that you are also suppressing in other areas of your life
If you are someone who struggles to orgasm, where else in your life do you struggle to surrender and embrace joy, to receive the ecstasy of life…
Where else are you holding back from receiving all that life has to offer?
And why???
In my recent podcast episode ‘Why We Resist Joy & Pleasure’ I dive more deeply into some of the reasons we push away joy and pleasure and this isn’t just talking about in the bedroom, but in all areas of life
Some reasons for resisting joy and pleasure are:
Guilt and shame: Some people may have been raised in environments that associated joy and pleasure with wrongdoing or indulgence. As a result, they may feel guilty or shameful when experiencing these emotions, leading to resistance.
Fear of loss or disappointment: Joy and pleasure can be fleeting, and some may resist fully embracing these emotions out of a fear that they will soon be taken away or followed by disappointment.
Conditioning and cultural influences: Societal or cultural norms can influence how we perceive and express joy and pleasure. Some cultures emphasise stoicism or downplay the importance of personal happiness, which can contribute to a resistance towards experiencing and expressing joy and pleasure.
Self-worth and deservingness: Some may struggle with feelings of low self-worth or believe that they do not deserve happiness or pleasure. This self-limiting belief can create resistance towards experiencing joy and pleasure as they may feel unworthy of such positive experiences.
Conditioning from past negative experiences: Previous negative experiences or traumas can shape one's outlook and make it challenging to fully embrace joy and pleasure.
In another episode I dive more deeply into how we can heal trauma and embrace sexual fulfilment and empowerment, this is a reclamation of our sexuality, our power, our desires, our right to fully express and be authentically ourselves in all our glory